Tag Archives: depressed

SHORT STORY: THE QUESTIONING SPOUSE by Kamlesh Tripathi

Copyright@shravancharitymission

    There was once a argumentative wife. She used to argue with her husband at the drop of a hat. If the husband wanted to go to the market the wife would argue why? In case the husband said he is coming late from work she would argue why? If the husband wanted to have a particular dish she would argue why? If the husband wanted to sleep she would ask him to be awake, and if he wanted to be awake, she expected him to sleep.

    Soon the husband started feeling extremely dejected and even suffocated. He did not know how to tackle the situation. Depressed, one day he decided, that for peace in his life, henceforth, he would convey to his wife, only the opposite of what he actually wanted. So, on the days he wanted to go to the market, he would say to his wife he wanted to rest at home. When he wanted to have a particular dish, he would request for some other dish. When he wanted to sleep he would express he wanted to be awake and when he wanted to be awake he would express he wanted to sleep. This brought down the confrontation levels at home. Soon, he started getting whatever he wanted without much of a bickering.

    This carried on for some time, giving the husband some relief, as he would readily give-in to his wife’s defiance, which in fact, was his own preference.

    But the wife was intelligent enough to gauge the change. After a few weeks she noticed a fleck of unusual peace and calm on her husband’s face. Then after some time his face had a glow. He was looking happy as he was meeting his preferences. This made the wife suspicious and even uncomfortable. She understood that the husband was asking for things that he didn’t want, so that, he actually gets what he wants.

    But driven by her hubris, the wife continued to disagree with her husband on most issues as it was working out well for her ego. When the husband felt like going for a movie she accompanied him to the market. When he wanted to come home late from office she disagreed bitterly. When he wanted a particular dish, she cooked something else that only turned out to be her husband’s preference. So, while the arrangement in a manner of speaking was working out for both, it had also become onerous for both.

    Soon, it escalated into a cold war that continued for some weeks. Now both were uncomfortable, but were not willing to talk it out because of their egos.

            Soon the husband started feeling, each time, he has to only tell lies, to his wife, to actually get, what he wants. On the contrary, the wife began to feel, each time, she only has to slyly contest her husband’s lies to actually give him what he wants.

        One day the wife thought of changing her strategy. She decided to agree to whatever the husband asked for. When the husband asked for tea she gave him tea. When he wanted to see a particular TV-channel she allowed him to see that, without any argument. When he wanted to wear a particular shirt she said okay. But this turned out to be a setback for the husband as he now started getting things that he didn’t want, because, the wife had mentally agreed to give the husband whatever he asked for.

    So the husband too, thought of changing his strategy. He now started asking for things that he actually needed. For tea he would ask for tea, for a cold drink he asked for cold drink, for a particular movie he asked for that movie only, so on and so forth. And, he was surprised, he had now started getting what he wanted.

    In all of this there was no square conversation between the two about the cold war that was brewing between them, but yes, their eyes, often met, to welcome the change. Time flew. After a few years one day the husband asked the wife about the change in her attitude. The wife replied. When you started telling lies about things you wanted I found you peaceful and your face suddenly had a glow. I then decided this peace, calm and glow shouldn’t come on the spreads of lies rather it should come on the holy wings of truth so I re-engineered myself.

   Moral of the story: Bury the ego. Give space to your spouse. Don’t drive her, or him, to a situation, where she, or he, starts telling lies. Look at your spouse’s face, each day, for the loving expressions that are more vocal than the tongue.

    By Kamlesh Tripathi

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https://kamleshsujata.wordpress.com

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Shravan Charity Mission is an NGO that works for poor children suffering from life threatening diseases especially cancer. Our posts are meant for our readers that includes both children and adults and it has a huge variety in terms of content. We also accept donations for our mission. Should you wish to donate for the cause. The bank details are given below:

NAME OF ACCOUNT: SHRAVAN CHARITY MISSION

Account no: 680510110004635 (BANK OF INDIA)

IFSC code: BKID0006805

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Our publications

GLOOM BEHIND THE SMILE

(The book is about a young cancer patient. Now archived in 7 prestigious libraries of the US, including, Harvard University and Library of Congress. It can also be accessed in MIT through Worldcat.org. Besides, it is also available for reading in Libraries and archives of Canada and Cancer Aid and Research Foundation Mumbai)  

ONE TO TANGO … RIA’S ODYSSEY

(Is a book on ‘singlehood’ about a Delhi girl now archived in Connemara Library, Chennai and Delhi Public Library, GOI, Ministry of Culture, Delhi)

AADAB LUCKNOW … FOND MEMORIES

(Is a fiction written around the great city of Nawabs—Lucknow. It describes Lucknow in great detail and also talks about its Hindu-Muslim amity. That happens to be the undying characteristics of Lucknow. The book was launched in Lucknow International Literary Festival of 2014. It is included for reading in Askews and Holts Library Services, Lancashire, U.K.)

REFRACTIONS … FROM THE PRISM OF GOD

(Co-published by Cankids–Kidscan, a pan India NGO and Shravan Charity Mission, that works for Child cancer in India. The book is endorsed by Ms Preetha Reddy, MD Apollo Hospitals Group. It was launched in Lucknow International Literary Festival 2016)

TYPICAL TALE OF AN INDIAN SALESMAN

(Is a story of an Indian salesman who is, humbly qualified. Yet he fights his ways through unceasing uncertainties to reach the top. A good read not only for salesmen. The book was launched on 10th February, 2018 in Gorakhpur Lit-Fest. Now available in Amazon, Flipkart and Onlinegatha)

RHYTHM … in poems

(Published in January 2019. The book contains 50 poems. The poems describe our day to day life. The book is available in Amazon, Flipkart and Onlinegatha)

MIRAGE

(Published in February 2020. The book is a collection of eight short stories. It is available in Amazon, Flipkart and Notion Press)

Short stories and Articles published in Bhavan’s Journal: Reality and Perception 15.10.19; Sending the Wrong Message 31.5.20; Eagle versus Scholars June 15 & 20 2020; Indica 15.8.20

(ALL THE ABOVE TITLES ARE AVAILABLE FOR SALE IN AMAZON, FLIPKART AND OTHER ONLINE STORES OR YOU COULD EVEN WRITE TO US FOR A COPY)

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WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU FEEL LOW?

Copyright@shravancharitymission

 

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    ‘I’m feeling low, sad or depressed’ is something we all hear almost on a daily basis from friends, colleagues, peer groups, relatives and even close family members. You may call it depression, a state of mind, a dejected syndrome, life style occurrence or all in one, as it is difficult to delineate? So, for the time being let’s call it a ‘Sad State of Mind (SSOM). The frequency in some may be high and in some low. However, it spares no one, except children up to a certain age group. Does it therefore mean, that as soon as you start facing life you encounter SSOM?

    Perhaps yes, and it transcends all age groups, sex and even professions. Where, it encounters everyone in the journey of life. I too have suffered from SSOM. It comes uninvited, and at odd hours like an unwanted guest, not knowing how long it will stay. One day when I got frustrated. I decided to cross check with some of my colleagues and friends if they too were infested by SSOM and most of them said yes. I wasn’t surprised. As it leaves you hapless, makes you lethargic and impedes you from doing even your normal chores at home and routine work at office. And, in this manner it also affects India’s GDP and leads to a negative trail. So, I decided to do something about it.

    First, I thought of ways and means to prevent it, if not cure it. Or, find a sound way to dispel it but failed in doing so. So, I decided to survey some men, women, students, professionals, academicians and politicians with just one startling question:

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‘WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU FEEL LOW?’

    Sample size was two hundred. And to my astonishment no one sulked at the very question. In fact, everyone just promptly replied in a one-liner, which I am writing below as quote-unquote or verbatim. Results showed that every person had a way of resolving his or her own SSOM but broadly preferred to stay under the nine sub-headings mentioned below.

SURRENDER TO #ALMIGHTY … He will take care

    I talk to God. I visit the temple. I chant verses from holy Ramayana. I read a few pages out of my handy Gita. I flip through my Holy Quran. I go to the Gurudwara. I pray to Goddess Durga. I read a few pages of Holy Bible. I watch a devotional channel on TV. I recite Hanuman Chalisa. I ponder over my equation with God. Mind you, I didn’t find anyone telling me that I go to a powerful person to resolve my SSOM.

INTROSPECTION & MEDITATION … helps you in rediscovering yourself.

  I meditate. I introspect. I ponder over my past. I start worrying about my future. When did I help someone last? I try and remember. Why did I hurt someone? I think. Why did I make fun of someone? I regret. Perhaps it’s a reminder for some noble deed.

TO SERVE … gives a feeling of soul cleansing.

    I donate. I feed my cat to some milk. I feed ants. I feed a cow. I feed a street dog. I feed my pet dog. I feed an old beggar.

PHYSICAL EXERTION … refreshes you to take on the world.

    I take my dog for a walk. I go for a swim. I jog for a while. I go cycling. I go golfing. I go swimming. I go to the gym. I go to the spa. I do indoor exercises. I do deep breathing, it helps. I go fishing.

ENTERTAINMENT … rejuvenates you.

    I open my bottle to have a swig. I read a novel. I switch on the TV. I go for a movie. I watch cricket. I start playing computer games. I read jokes. I play indoor games. I laugh in my toilet, as you would in the laughing club. I sing in my bathroom. I watch a cartoon channel. I Play with my Pet. I listen to music. I play my keyboard. I smoke a cigarette. I eat excessively.

MIND DIVERSION … helps you forget.

    I read anything just anything lying around. I start writing. I start painting. I go and sit in the lawn amidst plants. I call up my girlfriend. I call up my boyfriend. I call up Dad. I call up Mom. I call up my daughter. I call up my son. I call up my daughter-in-law. I call up my wife. I call my up husband. I call up my best friend. I speak to my boss, he gives me some sound advice. I start thinking of pending work in office. I speak to my mentor. I flip through a magazine. I read newspaper. I go for a drive.

KILLING SSOM … with other powerful thoughts.

    I think of my last holiday and the pleasant moments with my family. I build determination to confront the situation that makes me feel low. I recall, ‘No matter how bad things are they could be worse.’ ‘Nothing is permanent’ I say to myself. I think of the best surprise of my life. I think of the best episode of my life. I think of an ugly episode of my life. I still have a healthy body and soul so why worry. I have a loving family so why feel low. I have a bright career so why feel low.

DOING NOTHING … just another way of handling by not reacting.

I sulk. I just shut my mind for some time. I know something good is coming next so I don’t bother. I just doze off. I take a small break from work. I just have a cup of tea. I do nothing and wait for the mood swing to be over. I stop eating. I fiddle with my mobile. I consider it to be like common cold, so I just move on. I believe in- no matter how bad things are something is going right and no matter how good things are something is going wrong; this balances life. Even the President of the US suffers from SSOM so who am I? Feeling low is cyclic, so why worry. Once in a while we all feel low, perhaps it’s the order of the nature. Chalta hai- don’t be too serious about life, let life be serious about you.
    The moral of the story is we all feel low at times, and many a times during a lifetime. Whilst, such occurrences happen, we should not feel isolated and down beaten as it happens to most human beings on the planet. Life is not a bed of roses but a constant struggle and more the struggle is shared more life becomes easy to take on and this is a small attempt towards that.

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By Kamlesh Tripathi

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Share if you like it

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    Shravan Charity Mission is an NGO that works for poor children suffering from life threatening diseases. Should you wish to donate for the cause the bank details are given below:

NAME OF ACCOUNT: SHRAVAN CHARITY MISSION

Account no: 680510110004635 (BANK OF INDIA)

IFSC code: BKID0006805

*

Our publications

GLOOM BEHIND THE SMILE

ONE TO TANGO … RIA’S ODYSSEY

AADAB LUCKNOW … FOND MEMORIES

REFRACTIONS … FROM THE PRISM OF GOD

(CAN BE BOUGHT FROM ON LINE BOOK STORES OR WRITE TO US FOR COPIES)

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