Recently a friend of mine ventured into buying a rickety second hand car that was more than 18 feet long, but more than half a decade old. I asked, ‘why this car? Instead, you could have bought a brand new hatchback in the same budget?’ He replied ‘My dear friend you will not understand this, yeh mooch wali gadi hai.’ He, like me, had no mooch but knew all about the varied nuances of a mooch. Another friend of mine since college days, sported a handlebar wider than his face. Just, because he wanted to look like an ostentatious macho, to all those known to him, and like an army specimen, to all the unknown. But sadly, girls rated his fertile front as hideous because of his mooch. From a distance, he was easily recognizable, as one could clearly see only a bushy moustache, walking up and down without a face–so virile was his tash.
Then, I also knew of salesman resembling the famous dacoit Veerapan with his deadly moustaches sprouting all over his face. But this was much before Veerapan actually surfaced. The lady customers refused, to be attended by him even when he was very God fearing. Perhaps, he couldn’t change the scary image of such a well mustachioed face
Mel Brooks, American actor, producer and director justifies it well on the silver screen for the select few and goes on to say, ‘A cinema villain essentially needs a moustache, so he can twiddle with it gleefully, as he cooks up his next plan.’ But it still doesn’t make me believe if Moochs, have a direct link with virile manhood.
Media reports insinuate, Indo-China confrontation is almost over. But then the handlebar-mooch remains, like its sardonic thorn, that is upping the ante. And unless one side droops, the likelihood of a war is very much there. So, not only men, even, countries wear moustaches. But then India happens to be a she country, then how can she have a moustache. And what about China? Well they prefer calling it ‘ancestral land’ … gender neutral to reap the benefit of both the sexes. So then, I don’t think there should be a problem for either of them, to pull out … as ladies needn’t even have a mooch ki ladai. Buy yes, both can behind the scenes give, ‘moochon mein tav’ in front of their countrymen.
Moustache, no doubt is the royal asset of a man, which is more loyal than his hair. That triggers and circulates his wild airs. And, while, one can see its pontification right below the eyes. He should not make it the focal point of his false prestige.
By Kamlesh Tripathi
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