Satire: JagdishTytler’s divorced conscience in conversation with Jagdish Tytler




    One day while Jagdish Tytler was taking a morning walk. He met his divorced conscience after many years, in the colony park behind his house. His conscience asked.

    ‘Hi Jagdish! How are you? And how is your legal battle of 1984—Sikh riot coming along? Have you been acquitted?’

    ‘Yes-yes, more or less.’ He replied in a cheerful tone.

    ‘More or less, what do you mean by more or less?’ 

    ‘Dear Conscience. I visited Dr Manmohan Singh some time ago when he was the Prime Minister and requested for a clean chit. He in turn instructed CBI to give me one. So I guess I am out of the rut. But by the way do you know who Dr Manmohan Singh is, as I’m meeting you after a long time?’

    ‘Arrey, Jagdish, so what if I left you in 1984, but who doesn’t know Dr Manmohan Singh. Isn’t he the same CEO of India, under whose nose all UPA scams were committed? And, I understand through reliable sources he is again getting a plum posting, as he is now being offered the hot chair of ‘CEO-Hell.’

    ‘CEO-Hell—what is that- Conscience?’

    ‘Arrey, the way he was ‘CEO-India’ he will now be ‘CEO-Hell,’ where you don’t even require a nomination through Rajya-Sabha as he will be a direct appointee of the President.’

    ‘But Conscience, he is a noble soul. So, do you think he will be able to handle the affairs of hell which are rather slimy and tricky, as a CEO?’

    ‘Let me tell you Jagdish. You can’t get a better candidate them him. Didn’t you notice how he turned India, which was heaven, into a ‘corrupt-hell-station’ in just about a decade. That to in connivance with the Congress High Command.  Boss you need to understand that appearances can be deceptive like Manmohan Singh. Who, otherwise appears as a meek and honest looking person, but he successfully masterminded, to make India one of the most ‘corrupt-hell station’ of the world. And don’t you worry about him as he is a smart operator, but yes, your case is indeed sad.’

    ‘But … how, Conscience?’

    ‘Just to please Gandhi parivar and show your allegiance to Congress Party you instigated a slaughter of 3000 Sikhs, in Delhi in 1984. Which was really stupid of you. What did you think you’ll go scot free after this ghastly crime? Kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hain Jagdish ji, perhaps you didn’t know that.’

    ‘But …. Conscience. If you will recall, it all started as a mob reaction and at the spur of the moment, when Mrs Indira Gandhi was shot dead by her own Sikh guards.’

    ‘I know everything as I lived in you then, and haven’t forgotten any bit. You may use all the legal tricks now to defend yourself in the court of law. But in my court you will always remain guilty of this heinous crime.’

    ‘But, Conscience, why are you holding me, solely responsible for it, as there were others too, involved in this.’

    ‘Because you were one of the main accomplice’s in getting the Sikhs massacred in the streets of Delhi. And, you made no efforts to stop the riots, even with all the power at your command. I left you soon, after this crime was committed. But did you ever introspect, as to why you did this and what you got out of it?’

    ‘I don’t deny I was a great friend of the Gandhis and maybe I too got emotional when Mrs Indira Gandhi was shot dead.’

    ‘Or was it your insecurity, that if you don’t react sternly you won’t remain the blue eyed guy of Gandhis? You see Jagdish we often commit the mistake of internalizing a feeling in ourselves, that we are permanently going to be part of this world. That makes us amass vulgar wealth, perpetrate heinous crimes such as this, and stoop to unethical levels and also various sorts of Chamchagiri, trying to be more loyal than the king.

    Analyse the difference between yourself and ManMohan. Who, after converting India into a ‘corrupt-hell-station’ is still roaming free. Whereas, you lost your complete political career. In 1984 when you committed the crime you were 40 and now past 70 and since then you have just been cooling your heels at home. You converted to Christianity under the influence of James Douglas Tytler a renowned educationist, who impressed you, but still went for this kind of a massacre. Oh what a bright future you had. But all down the drain.’

    ‘Oh Conscience what do I do now? Show me the way out.’

    ‘Well for such a genocide. One only needs to visit hell for penance. Where, you’ll probably meet your old friend Dr Manmohan Singh as—CEO-Hell who might suggest a way out. Anyways, take care, and be cautious. For God alone knows what  in you’ll become in your next birth.’


By Kamlesh Tripathi



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